simple brilliance

Today, I may have thought about my future more than any other day. It's funny because when family comes in town, they want to know everything. "So what's next?" "Where are you living?" "When are you going to get married?" (really? I mean, c'mon I'm not even dating anyone!!!) ........... ............ ........... of course, I have answers, but they're not always the answers I want to give nor are they always the answers they want to hear.

Maybe the best thing I heard all day was "Following in your Granddaddy's footsteps, eh?" I'm not sure if I can even say that I am even hundreds of thousands of light years from where his footsteps are. I'm just taking my first baby steps into this new part of my life! It's a great compliment, I suppose, but in reality I'm not sure whose footsteps I'm following right now.

People expect so many concrete answers the second that you step out of college. I got a little overwhelmed, stepped away from the family and just sat in the sunroom by myself thinking of where in the world my life was going. Should I have answers? I hadn't been fearful at all... until now. I was so certain before and now, here I was staring out into the backyard while the overcast sky hovers over my head, wondering if maybe I should just accept a job in Atlanta doing whatever I can just so I can appear to be happily responsible and "grown-up." But no... I don't want to make a buck. I want to do what thrills my heart and help people, and more importantly I just want to trust God. I have so far, so why quit now?

I can't let a million questions from my closest family members turn the wheels in my head too fast. My Grandaddy asks me, "Do you think you can handle it?" (in regards to me living with them)... and I said "do you think YOU can handle it?" He chuckles, and says "We'll be fine." I say hesitantly, "I'm just wondering what I'm going to do after all my traveling. Where am I going to go?" And he speaks simple brilliance of course, "Don't worry about it. Just let God figure it out for you." This, coming from the man that I am supposedly following behind... But I realize those words have come straight from my own mouth. Only, they are doubted when I say them because I have no experience backing them. One day God will prove my words true.

So maybe I am a little like him. I see such a mixture of myself in my dad's mischief, my mom's kindness, my grandmother's go-getter attitude, but most importantly I see me in my Grandaddy's heart.

I may not know who or IF I'm going to marry. Where I'm going to live. What kind of job I'll have. Or if I'll live til tomorrow.... But worrying won't make it better or less complicated. It won't give me answers and won't give me peace. So, my resolution is clear as day, and when I am probed with questions of my future, I"ll give them one answer:
"I'm not worried about it and I'm letting God figure it out for me." :)