Dear 4 W's and the H, Burn away.... Love, K.

The last few times my Granddaddy and I have talked, he's told me not to worry. You know when someone gives you advice and you're thinking, "Yeah, yeah, I know. I'm not dealing with that, but thanks for your time well spent telling me about it..." then you actually take a good look at your life and realize how right they really were? Zing. Today during my walk/prayer time I found myself praying for things I was worried about. Ah, but of course, he was right.

So I started asking that God would help me not to be anxious. Philippians says, "Do not be anxious about anything but by prayer and petition, present your requests to God." So, I just started praying that God would make me independently dependent on JUST Him and Him alone. As a person who is very independent, I find myself occasionally falling in the trap of being dependent on people for affirmation, for satisfaction, for commendation, for a shoulder to cry on, for an open ear and still feel unfulfilled. I'm realizing that my Father isn't even hearing these requests from me firsthand. Unfortunately, my friends can't offer me any solution that is better than the one that God can give. He always wants to listen. always cares. always supports. always loves. Time cannot prevent God from giving me as much as I need. He's never bombarded with problems that He can't listen to mine. His love is not conditional. He is not moody. He won't share with anyone else. He genuinely cares about spending time with me because he cherishes my entire being that He took the time to create.

Back on track here......I firmly believe that I am in a place in my life where Christ should come first and worrying should be at the very end of my list. Yeah, it should have happened a long time ago, but in reality who really lives by that rule? I am tired of being drained by the agonizing questions of the 4 W's and the H. (for non-communication people, that's Who, Where, Why, When, How). Those things are a gallon full of confusion and stress sweetened with a flavor of "responsibility" just to make it taste right. Maybe I'm stretching it a bit, but what if being a Christian means that we're not always seeming to be responsible? We're not cookie-cutter perfect with our i's dotted and our t's crossed. We walk by faith and not by sight. We hope for things that are unseen and believe they will come to pass when our spirit Father decides to give it to us because we've devoted our lives to Him.

"No, I'm not married...or engaged....or dating anyone...."
"Nope, I don't officially know what I'm doing....."
"Nah, I have no idea where I'll be going....."
BUT
"I trust God will tell me what I'm supposed to do, where I'm destined to go, why I'm called to be there, when it's going to take place and how it's going to happen just as soon as He feels it's right, and if He doesn't answer all those questions at once, I'm still going to believe that I have enough insight to initiate the first step in the direction of the perfection of my calling." Booyah.

So, I'm forgetting the petty things that don't matter right now. Love Jesus and love people. The rest will fall into place. I am passionately seeking the way to live a destiny full of compassion with a heroic effort of boldness to eradicate the sinfulness that has penetrated itself into the very depths of our world and rescue the hurting and dying people so that they may have hope, experience freedom and be embraced by the unfailing love of Christ.

Worry cannot exist within this vision. Jesus, may the deepest desires of my heart swallow up all of the worry that antagonizes me each day so that I can live fully in you, trusting your every move and be able to love in a capacity that exceeds natural understanding.