If I could only write Him a love song....

It's amazing so much of what you learn if you just open your ears and eyes to the Father. I've been thinking about why I have to learn the same lesson over and over again. It stinks, really. You say, "God, I thought you taught me this times before.... why again?"

In searching for my answer, I have realized that the topic of the lesson I have been learning is all about my weakness. I distrust people.... a lot. For reasons which I won't discuss, there are many reasons why I shouldn't trust people nor do I want to. I always have reason to believe someone is doing something wrong, a man can never be faithful to me, and no one will ever love me enough to be committed. So, when my trust is broken, I constantly have to re-live my childhood of shattered dreams, lies, broken promises and shadows of doubt.

So, God keeps teaching me this lesson of trust. "Why?", I ask. "Why do I constantly have to be hurt by people I cannot trust?" It is because God wants to teach me that in my weakness his strength is perfect. What an amazing concept that has never fully clicked in my little tiny head. God wants me to realize that my weakness is futile and can never be mended by others. That even though I may not be able to trust others, I can trust Him. He is the epitome of trust. A loving father. Someone who is honest. Always cares. Always keeps me in mind and never wants to do anything that could possibly harm me or hurt me in any way. How many people honestly would do that for you? Your boyfriend/girlfriend husband/wife should, but unfortunately people just aren't that committed anymore.

It's just amazing. My Father wants to be able to fulfill everything that I as well as others lack. When I get married, there are going to be some things that my husband won't have that I probably dreamed of having. It's okay though. Because my God can fulfill where other people lack. That's God. He is everything. When we can't find what we're looking for. He waits. He's just sitting there waiting on us to look to Him so we can see He has anything and everything we need to feel fulfilled. What an incredible God. A man of my dreams.

If I could only write him a love song great enough to describe his majesty.....


written 12.11.2007